Attempted Kissing
by The Wordsmithy
Summary: Arthur wants Ford to kiss him. Ford isn't entirely certain how to go about this, being a bit out-of-practice when it comes to kissing people, but he makes his best attempt(s).


Ford and Arthur were in the middle of a rather good moment. Ford had used all his knowledge of technology (which mostly involved intimidation) to convince the Nutri-Matic to get Arthur something that tasted almost entirely like tea, which Arthur was now happily drinking from where he sat along the side of this particular room of the Heart of Gold. Beside Arthur sat Ford as well, holding the human's hand and watching happily as he sipped the beverage he had so long been waiting for. It was a very good moment. Arthur was happy, which made Ford happy, and when Arthur noticed Ford's happiness, it made him happier still, and they were all tangled up in this cycle of happiness much as one might get tangled up in a very long scarf while trying to put it on, not realizing how much of it there is.

This moment went on for a long time, and it would have gone on even longer had Arthur not finished his tea and said, "Ford?"

"Mm, yes?"

"Would you, um…would you like to kiss me?"  
"Kiss you?" Ford had been vaguely aware that this general sort of moment would come at some point or another, much like how one knows, when starting to read a book, that there will be a part in which the hero reveals some sort of supposedly deep, dark secret that isn't particularly deep or dark and that the reader pretty much knew was coming, though they didn't exactly know what said "secret" would be. Ford knew this point would be reached. That didn't mean he knew what exactly he'd do.

"Yes," said Arthur, looking at Ford with that expression he gave everything when he felt as though the solution to the problem or question should be very simple and straightforward but the universe decided to defy that expectation. "Unless, of course, you don't want to. I mean, I don't suppose you have to. That, uh, that was just an idea I had." Coming from someone else, this might have sounded passive-aggressive. Coming from Arthur, it didn't. He did not have the capacity to be passive-aggressive.

"No, no, no," said Ford. "I'd rather like that. It's just – well, to be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure how we'd go about this."

Arthur tilted his head and gave Ford the look again, only this time magnified by several degrees. These were the sort of degrees given when he thought the solution should be extremely, remarkably straightforward and the universe decided to baffle him with something almost as illogical and unexpected as "42".

"Ford," the human said slowly, "are you trying to tell me that you do not know how to kiss a person?"

"I know how to kiss someone," said Ford. "Of course I do. It's just, well, it's been a while and I'm somewhat out of practice, and –"

"Ford, it doesn't really matter to me if you're out of practice," said Arthur. "Really, it doesn't. It doesn't even have to be a particularly long kiss or anything. I'd just like you to kiss me, if that's alright with you."

Ford shrugged, the same way one shrugs when one goes into a situation one realizes can't end entirely badly, so they may as well go into it. He placed his hands on Arthur's arms and turned him so they were both facing each other. "If you're facing me, this will probably be somewhat easier."

"Alright."

Ford looked over Arthur's face, trying to figure out where exactly to kiss him. His lips were the most likely candidate, but he decided against it in favor of Arthur's cheek. This seemed somehow a safer option, at least for the moment. There tend to be fewer expectations placed on quick kisses on the cheek than anything that involves both parties' mouths. He leaned over, planted his lips on Arthur's cheek, right under his eye, and drew away, mildly embarrassed because he probably hadn't done a very good job of it.

"There," he said. "How's that?"

"That's not exactly what I'd expected," said Arthur. "I mean, it was nice, but not exactly what I had in mind when I asked you to kiss me."

"Oh." This wasn't terribly surprising. In fact, it wasn't even disappointing, because it meant Ford could kiss Arthur again, and he had quite enjoyed it the first time. "Well, how about this?" He held Arthur's face gently and tilted it downwards. With one hand, he brushed aside Dent's hair and lightly kissed him on the forehead.

"There," said Ford. "How was that?" He smiled a smile that said, "Please tell me I've done it right, because I like to think that I've succeeded at doing what you wanted me to do".

"Ford." Arthur blinked a few times and took Ford's hands in his, making him pay attention as he gave him the sort of expression that says, "It's very clear that you're not understanding this, and I would like you to pay attention as I try to rectify this error".

"Now, you're not quite understanding what I want," said Arthur. "When I say I want you to kiss me, I specifically mean I would like you to kiss me here." He pointed to his lips. "Do you suppose that would be too much of a hassle?"

Ford shrugged, closed his mouth in a twisting contemplative expression, and turned his eyes upward. He stayed like that for a moment before flashing a grin, one of those trademark all-teeth-showing grins that gave others the uneasy feeling that he was about to go for their necks, and darting forth, tilting his head and grabbing Dent by the shoulders as he planted a very firm, very definite kiss on the human's lips. The kiss stayed there for a moment before Ford freed his hands from Arthur's shoulders and pushed himself backwards, both of them sitting there with their faces a distance apart.

Arthur was breathing heavily in surprise. "That – that was a rather unexpected reaction."

Ford was grinning. "Thank you."

"I'm not entirely certain I meant that as a compliment," said Arthur, "but I suppose you're welcome."

"Well, I like to think it was satisfactory," said Ford. "Was it?"

"That's a good way of describing it."

"Would you like another?"

"Yes."

Ford grinned again and repeated his previous action, although pulling Arthur closer to him and maintaining the contact between their lips for a longer time. Arthur didn't mind any of this.

"Was that good, too?" said Ford.

"Mm-hmm."

"You know, your breath smelled of tea," said Ford.

"Is that a bad thing?"

The Betelgeusian smiled. "No. In fact, I quite liked it."

"Well, if you liked it…" Arthur reached for Ford and pulled him close, deciding it was his time to initiate the kissing. "I suppose you liked that, too."

Ford took both of Arthur's hands and laughed, though he wasn't entirely certain why. "I definitely liked it. Come on, let's do it again."

They went on like this for some time, with one kissing the other and going back and forth with initiating the gesture. They both got tired of this exchanging of kisses after a while, much like how one goes to a very nice party and gets tired of it after a while despite still thoroughly enjoying it. It ended up with Arthur leaning forth for another kiss but falling onto Ford instead and, instead of getting up, simply stayed where he was, enjoying it. Ford ended up getting the idea and let Arthur remain in that position, contentedly stroking his back and ruffling his hair. For a moment, he looked over to the side and noticed what had once been a mug full of tea, now a mug completely empty of tea.

"Arthur," Ford said. "Would you like me to get you some more tea?"

"Hmm, oh?" Arthur murmured. "Oh, yes. That'd be nice." He sat up, gave Ford another kiss, and handed him the mug. He smiled contentedly. "That'd be very nice indeed."


End file.
